It was only natural to pick this book up after “How to be whole again”, and I’m not disappointed. Since I started my healing process a few weeks ago, reading this book was indeed a good push towards the correct direction.
It talks about how what we perceive can become our reality. And how by changing little things in our day to day life, we can see a great impact on ourselves.
How we talk, think about, and therefore perceive our surroundings is the very foundation for our reality. Create the reality you want to live in by beginning the process of having the kind of conversations (with yourself and others) that actually shape that reality.
The narrative of the book is very direct, it tells you without any bullshit what to do, what to avoid, what are the things you are doing wrong, and how you can fix them. It also talks about the fact that there is no savior in life, but yourself, and only you can change the narrative of your life.
If you’re not willing to take the actions to change your situation—in other words, if you’re willing to put up with your situation—then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen.
In one of the most memorable chapters, it started talking about “Winning” and how our brains are wired to winning, but what it lacks is a proper direction. Therefore, to pursue a goal, we need to clearly define it for ourselves and define what we are good at winning in. And try to approach the goal from the angle that we are strong at.
One of the good exercises I started doing after reading that, was to clarify what I’m winning in. Taking my life, and looking at it from outside, seeing all the areas that I’m good at. They don’t specifically need to be positive, it just needs to be something that I can do (it could even be wasting money, time, or maybe blaming people for my own issues!) and then pick the one I want to have my life revolve around, and try to avoid others.
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
One of my biggest flaws in life can be summarized in this one sentence. Accepting that there is no right solution or best answer, is one of the most difficult things for me to accept. And it’s something I can waste hours and days on. Having it told to my face was an eye-opening experience which I’m glad I faced while reading the book.
The book continues by explaining how sometimes “Fake it till you make it” can be a good approach in life. How by changing our mindset a little bit, we can push ourselves a little harder, and that few extra miles can actually have an impact on our lives.
And the book concludes by reminding us that the actions are the only thing separating us from where we are and where we want to be. So it isn’t just about seizing the day, but about our fucking life, and how all these events can have a chain reaction on the result that we want to achieve.